I'm like "Nooooools! Basil has a friend and he's a smart arse and he calls him Bazzo and they like high five each other and stuff and Bazzo, I mean Basil, was really cool towards me as if he didn't know me very well and was all Hey Man, this is my dude from The States and I don't know what to do because I think this new guy Barry might be hanging around with him a lot and being a bad influence and stuff and I NEED ALL HIS TIME TO MAKE HIM FALL IN LOVE WITH ME!"

Nools was busy sorting through a basket of hair bands so I had to repeat it all over again.

"What do you mean Basil was acting like he doesn't know you very well? He hardly knows you at all" she said absent mindedly.

I sulked for a good forty seconds. "We've gone for pints, Nools".

She looked up at me and I remembered I'd told her that I just talked at him for half an hour before falling down the stairs and being rushed to hospital.

"But I see him nearly every day and we talk and stuff".

Nools put down the hairbands and sighed. "There's only one thing to do, Aoiphe. You have to get this friend on side".

"Make friends with Barry? Eeeuuuuuww! He wears ironic t-shirts with sweat patches under the arms and he says 'snort' instead of just snorting. Why would you snort anyway? I bet he really emphasises the B in 'obviously' too..."

Nools took hold of my shoulders as I was just ranting now.

"Make friends with the best friend and you're en route to becoming the girlfriend as the best friend will have no objections and the prospective boyfriend will like that you get on with his best friend, if you catch my drift".

I did catch it. But it was a drift I didn't like.