I'm back working in Oxfam. Only mild concussion and THANK GOD I could style my fringe so that it covered the bruise on my head. And, of course, fake tan works wonders. They only kept me in overnight. I was dreading Basil coming to visit me and having to see me in my teddy bear pyjamas (which undoubtedly Martina would bring in) and him having to talk to Martina herself. She'd be doing her telephone voice and trying to sound like Mary Robinson but mixing up her ts and ths.

"Yos, dis is a lovely hospithal, osn't ith?" Cringe fest.

I refused to discuss it with Basil as I'm so embarrassed and I know Mapi finds the whole thing hilarious as she probably thinks I was drunk as opposed to in a rush down the stairs.

Milseán arrived in to see what we had in the line of bridesmaid's dresses. I thought she'd want something flouncy and tartan but she actually went for a tasteful aubergine taffeta halterneck with fitted skirt. There's hope for the old spinster yet. Although Nools said that Milseán liked it so much that she wore it watching telly that evening and got it covered in cat hairs. Some people just don't appreciate the genius of Chloe.